is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
tell me about the eggs
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