Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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