I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
