I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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