Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
