Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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