So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
