Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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