I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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