sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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