Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
