Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize