I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
