Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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