Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
