so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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