just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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