Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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