stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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