The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize