why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
