wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize