..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
