Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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