Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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