I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
