just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
