A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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