i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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