yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
