friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
