My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
