no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When are your genitals available?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
