Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
