it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
