woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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