before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
