in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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