Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
