I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
