I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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