I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
