Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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