I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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