Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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