I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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