my vag is so smooth its legendary
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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