i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
