Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize