beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
