we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
