Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think my moral compass just broke
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
