Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize