You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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