I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
