you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
