I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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