i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
