HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
