Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
