Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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